Self-Control: Surrendering Before We Lose It

In a world that often celebrates instant gratification and unchecked impulses, the concept of self-control can seem outdated or even burdensome. Yet, this fruit of the Spirit remains as crucial as ever for those seeking to live a life of faith and purpose. Far from being a killjoy, true self-control is a pathway to freedom and spiritual growth.

Let's be honest—we all struggle with self-control at times. Whether it's overindulging in food, losing our temper, making impulsive purchases, or speaking before we think, lapses in self-control are a universal human experience. But what if we viewed self-control not as a restrictive force but as a liberating one?

The apostle Paul, in his letter to the Galatians, lists self-control as one of the fruits of the Spirit alongside love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness. This placement is significant. Self-control isn't just about willpower; it's a natural outgrowth of a life surrendered to God's Spirit.

Consider the story of Felix, a Roman governor who listened to Paul speak about faith in Jesus Christ. As Paul delved into topics of righteousness, self-control, and the coming judgment, Felix became afraid and dismissed Paul, saying he'd call for him again when it was more "convenient." How often do we, like Felix, push away the call to self-control because it feels inconvenient or uncomfortable?

The truth is, there's rarely a convenient time to practice self-control. By its very nature, self-control is most needed when it's least desired. It's in those moments of temptation, anger, or impulsivity that we're called to pause, reflect, and choose a better path.

Peter, another apostle, emphasizes how self-control connects our knowledge of what's right with the persistent doing of what's right. He encourages believers to add self-control to their faith, goodness, and knowledge, seeing it as a crucial step towards becoming effective and productive in our knowledge of Jesus Christ.

This highlights an important truth: knowing what's right isn't enough. We need the Spirit-empowered ability to consistently act on that knowledge, even when our emotions or desires pull us in the opposite direction.

Interestingly, the Bible acknowledges that self-control may look different for different people in various contexts. In discussing matters of sexuality, celibacy, and marriage (1 Corinthians 7:8-9), Paul recognizes that the capacity for self-control (choosing celibacy over marriage) varies among individuals.
 
In this context, Paul seems convinced that it is better to be as he is, unmarried, but he also understands that some will be unable to live a life of chastity. To those who would be on fire with sexual desire and therefore hindered in their walk with God, he encourages those who have not been given “the gift” Paul has received to marry.

This culturally conditioned instruction reminds us to be gracious with ourselves and others, understanding that the journey of growing in self-control is unique for each person.
However, while the manifestation of self-control may differ, its core considerations remain constant. True self-control always considers the well-being of others, the will of God, and the long-term consequences of our actions. It's about saying "no" to immediate wants so we can say "yes" to what is truly best for ourselves and those around us.

Paul uses the analogy of an athlete in strict training to illustrate this point. Just as a runner disciplines their body to win a temporary prize, we are called to exercise spiritual discipline for an eternal reward. This isn't about earning God's love through our efforts, but about cooperating with the Spirit's work in our lives to shape us into the image of Christ.

One of the most profound aspects of self-control is its connection to trust in God's sovereignty. When we feel out of control, our natural instinct is often to grasp for power—to raise our voice, assert our will, or manipulate circumstances to get our way. But true self-control invites us to do the opposite. It challenges us to surrender our desire for control and trust that God is working, even when things aren't going as we planned.

Think about those moments when you've been tempted to "lose it"—perhaps over a frustrating project, an uncooperative family member, or an unexpected setback. What if, instead of giving in to the urge to dominate the situation, we paused to ask, "What might God be trying to teach me through this challenge? How can I respond in a way that reflects His character?"

This shift in perspective transforms self-control from a mere exercise in restraint to an opportunity for spiritual growth and relational wisdom. It's not about suppressing our personality or never feeling strong emotions. Rather, it's about channeling those feelings and impulses in ways that honor God and serve others.

As we cultivate self-control, we may find that those moments of "losing it" become less frequent and less intense. The Spirit works in us, gradually replacing our need to control through fear or manipulation with a deeper trust in God's goodness and plan.

Ultimately, the fruit of self-control is a mark of spiritual maturity and Christ-like character. It's evidence of the Holy Spirit's transformative work in our lives, shaping us to be more like Jesus—who demonstrated perfect self-control even in the face of extreme provocation and suffering.

So, the next time you're tempted to react impulsively or give in to a harmful desire, remember that self-control is not about restricting your freedom. It's about embracing true freedom in Christ. It's an invitation to pause, to reflect, and to choose a response that aligns with God's best for you and those around you.

Let's challenge ourselves to surrender control before we lose it. In those small, everyday moments of choice, may we learn to lean into the Spirit's guidance, trusting that as we do, he will produce in us the beautiful, liberating fruit of self-control.

(Blog Post for March 23, 2025 Sermon: A Life that is Free to Exemplify Self-Control)